Saturday, 5 November 2011

Chinese Dating

If two Chinese people are dating, they are well aware of Chinese cultural norms. However, when one of those people is not Chinese, conflicts are inevitable and need to be discussed upfront before they become an issue.

Here are a few good tips on dating and Chinese culture:

Chinese women come across as shy and reserved when dating. As such, it is culturally expected for the man to make the first move and exhibit a certain amount of dominance in the relationship. Men are expected to be in a lead role when it comes to relationships. This applies to both initial contact, and every step along the way.

When talking to a Chinese woman on a dating site, always be polite and show respect.

Also remember that, in China, health and salary are not considered to be private issues and are expected to be discussed openly and freely.

Most women in China marry at an early age and Chinese men find it a little strange for women to be in their thirty's and still single. Older single women are more likely to jump at a dating opportunity because they are normally shunned by Chinese men to some extent. Divorced women are usually shunned in Chinese society. Widowed women fare a bit better, but not by much. In any event, if you pay attention to widowed or divorced Chinese women on an online dating site, you will likely be very successful.

In China education is very important and Chinese men and women are usually more interested in the education level and degrees one might possess than most cultures are.

In the Chinese culture, women are taught to see security in financial stability. They will tend to marry success rather than looks.

Well educated Chinese people can often speak English to some degree. They are likely a lot better at reading and writing it than speaking it, especially if they are still living in China. When you do not use a language orally you cannot develop a good ear for distinguishing the words, nor do you get a chance to be fluent orally. Be ready to accept the fact that there will be more of a spoken language barrier than a written one.

It is also very common for people in China not to have a religion, as many years ago it was believed to be superstitious and many of the churches and temples were actually destroyed and religion was banned by Mao.

China is pretty much a male dominated society, so the man is expected to pay for everything on a date, this includes dinner, movies, theatre, snacks and, if needed, taxis.

Always try to be upfront and honest with your intentions as many Chinese people date with the soul purpose of finding a potential spouse, so to avoid any misconception it is wise to make your true intentions known right from the start.

Many Chinese people will avoid drinking alcohol, so it would be wise not to suggest stopping for a drink on your first date, instead it would be a better idea to suggest lunch or maybe a coffee or tea.

Do not have any expectations of mainland Chinese people showing up for a date on time. It is not in the culture..

Chinese people will show that they like you by offering to help you. You will find that they will feel obligated to help with dishes or even help with small bits of maintenance around the house. It is how they show affection.

You should also be aware that asking about one's health and taking care of someone when they are sick or feeling a little under the weather are two ways of showing how much you care about that person in China. Looking after what you eat, wear, and your health is not an attempt to run or control your life, this is the Chinese way of sharing their feelings in an indirect but very classy way.

Chinese are non-demonstrative in their love. They may be bonkers over you, but they would never be so crude as to actually say that out loud. Understatement of affection is the name of the game. They show affection more by actions than words.

Being more aware of Chinese versus Western cultural norms should help you when interacting with Chinese people in general, but especially so in a dating or relationship situation.

This article is geared to helping you make it past first base when dating a Chinese man or woman. Attentive and educated Chinese men and women would love to meet you so just follow the link below.

Asian Dating